Sunday, August 01, 2004
Three happy hours later....
So, in sharing with others that I've started a blog, I've learned something very important. No one gives a shit about my blog. Or blogs in general, for that matter. Well sure, if you're the Rude Pundit or something (http://rudepundit.blogspot.com), then people what to read your blog. But if you're just some normal person with self-adulating dreams of being reeeeeally interesting, you're one in a million. Only your mom will call you and tell you how great it is. Figures.
So I've been to a couple of happy hours since my first posting, and to my surprise, nothing really interesting happened. Usually when you get together liquor and, well, anybody, something entertaining is bound to happen. But not to disappoint, I do have something to write about. (Hi mom.) Last night interesting things happened that caused me to NEED to drink, so I'll talk about that.
I don't have children. Maybe some day I'll be lucky enough to be married to someone who is totally dedicated to family, and together we'll start one based on love and commitment. But for now, I just get to watch other people with their kids and wonder what it's like, or take notes on what I don't want it to be like.
Which brings me to my very important point....what if you have kids and they're fucking ugly? I met two of the ugliest kids on the planet last night, and amazingly and horrifically, they were related. I mean, what's the chance that BOTH of your kids will scare rocks back into the dirt?
I was taken to this play performed by 120 students of a "summer theatre camp." At one point, the woman next to me taps me on the shoulder and says, "That's my son." Good God woman, why do you point him out to people?! The kid is only around 10, so hopefully he'll grow out of it, but daaaaaaaang.
His mother is the typical Texas soccer mom...very pretty, long blond hair, manicured nails. The father is less handsome than she is, but not "fugly." I tried my best not to stare at this kid during the show. LIke it would have really been obvious in an audience of 500 and a cast of 120 where I was staring. But it was kind of like when you're at a social event and in walks some women with huge boobs that she's barely covering up with a dishcloth of a shirt, and you don't want to look because you are a straight female, but she's obviously wearing that shirt because she wants people to look, so you do your best to nonchalantly stare at them several times. (If you're male, take out the "nonchalant" part.)
So the show ends and I'm chatting with parents of dog face and up walks the 13 year old daughter. Holy CRAP she's ugly. GOD, how is it POSSIBLE that these two people spawned these rodents? It's like every microscopic aspect of possible ugliness from the parents all got together for a party on these two kids' faces. Minutes pass, and the instructions in my head become deafening, "Exit promptly and consume large quantity of gin."
Which is what I did, of course. It was difficult eating my breaded and baked orange roughy to not compare it to those kids' faces, but the dirty martini helped me smile. Here's a toast to not having kids yet. Ooh, and here's another toast to having another drink. Wew.
There were, however, some nice moments during the show. It was quite trite, and haphazardly put together, but some of the music and singing was actually quite beautiful. There were several themes throughout, about love and loss (the show was dedicated to an 18 year old who died from cancer), parents and kids, things like that. The one line that really stood out to me was during a song about how life isn't really much without love.
A little girl sang, "Can you still dance, even when you are far away?"
I smiled and closed my eyes. Yes...yes, you can.
So I've been to a couple of happy hours since my first posting, and to my surprise, nothing really interesting happened. Usually when you get together liquor and, well, anybody, something entertaining is bound to happen. But not to disappoint, I do have something to write about. (Hi mom.) Last night interesting things happened that caused me to NEED to drink, so I'll talk about that.
I don't have children. Maybe some day I'll be lucky enough to be married to someone who is totally dedicated to family, and together we'll start one based on love and commitment. But for now, I just get to watch other people with their kids and wonder what it's like, or take notes on what I don't want it to be like.
Which brings me to my very important point....what if you have kids and they're fucking ugly? I met two of the ugliest kids on the planet last night, and amazingly and horrifically, they were related. I mean, what's the chance that BOTH of your kids will scare rocks back into the dirt?
I was taken to this play performed by 120 students of a "summer theatre camp." At one point, the woman next to me taps me on the shoulder and says, "That's my son." Good God woman, why do you point him out to people?! The kid is only around 10, so hopefully he'll grow out of it, but daaaaaaaang.
His mother is the typical Texas soccer mom...very pretty, long blond hair, manicured nails. The father is less handsome than she is, but not "fugly." I tried my best not to stare at this kid during the show. LIke it would have really been obvious in an audience of 500 and a cast of 120 where I was staring. But it was kind of like when you're at a social event and in walks some women with huge boobs that she's barely covering up with a dishcloth of a shirt, and you don't want to look because you are a straight female, but she's obviously wearing that shirt because she wants people to look, so you do your best to nonchalantly stare at them several times. (If you're male, take out the "nonchalant" part.)
So the show ends and I'm chatting with parents of dog face and up walks the 13 year old daughter. Holy CRAP she's ugly. GOD, how is it POSSIBLE that these two people spawned these rodents? It's like every microscopic aspect of possible ugliness from the parents all got together for a party on these two kids' faces. Minutes pass, and the instructions in my head become deafening, "Exit promptly and consume large quantity of gin."
Which is what I did, of course. It was difficult eating my breaded and baked orange roughy to not compare it to those kids' faces, but the dirty martini helped me smile. Here's a toast to not having kids yet. Ooh, and here's another toast to having another drink. Wew.
There were, however, some nice moments during the show. It was quite trite, and haphazardly put together, but some of the music and singing was actually quite beautiful. There were several themes throughout, about love and loss (the show was dedicated to an 18 year old who died from cancer), parents and kids, things like that. The one line that really stood out to me was during a song about how life isn't really much without love.
A little girl sang, "Can you still dance, even when you are far away?"
I smiled and closed my eyes. Yes...yes, you can.
