Gin and Soda

"Thursday, I don't care about you....."?????

What’s the "Thursday" part of that song from the Cure? ….. “...Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart, oh Thursday shouldn’t even start (?), it’s Friday, I’m in love.”….?? I can hear it in my head, but not reeeeeeeeeally. Obviously.

Well, new developments on the home front today. At least the beginnings of them. I had a moment with Amarante today by himself, and he asked me why I looked so sad today. “Well, a lot things,” I was thinking.

I can’t hide how I feel on the inside, Mom has always pointed this out. What was on my face at that moment was: 1) I’m sick of breathing diesel fuel with every freaking breath when I’m outside, 2) my house is dirty and it’s stressing me out, ME, the messy one3) Robo class, robotic lighting, went really fast today and I’m only one of two people starting from scratch and I couldn’t keep up and I hate it when I can’t figure something out, and 4) at lunch time I found out that a friend of mine, Mike McClure, dropped dead of a heart attack yesterday while jogging on the trail. The last thing depressed me because he was a fucking cool person, extremely intelligent and funny, was in the Texas Exes group, and helped me with getting the banquet together this year. He’s also Stan’s best friend, and Stan is a super close friend of mine, so I was sad for him. And obviously for Mike’s wife, etc., and the Exes are going to the funeral tomorrow, and so on, and all of this put together made me miss home a lot. SO, when Amarante wanted to know what was up, I told him about Mike, got a little teary eyed because of all the stress and my wanting to escape for just ten minutes, and then I said there were rats, or mice, or something in my room. He said I can move and that he would call the woman in charge this evening.

I didn’t want to be a Costa Rica wimp, I told him, nor did I want to be rude to this family by bailing, but he said rodents weren’t acceptable. So then at dinner, I went into detail with the other students about my house, and they ALL said that I had a shitty deal and needed to get out. And they’ve got a point, it’s going to stress me out in relation to my work. Then they all walked me home and said how my house was definitely shady looking even from the outside, and that theirs are definitely in a different class. Barbara pointed out that I did PAY for this, so it shouldn’t be this yucky. True. She has a freaking gated community with a security guard at the front. So, I’m going to tell Amarante tomorrow that I want to move. He thinks that I would be put in a house with one of the others, Katy. That would be good, because we would always be together, could help each other with homework, etc.

I am very sad about Mike. Cool, generous, funny, excellent people do not deserve to check out at 40-something years old. It’s just not supposed to work that way. It’s just not.

I wish his family peace, somehow.

V